fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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