So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
