I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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