addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You're like the curious george of whores
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
