Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
