How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
