bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
