did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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