I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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