Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
