I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
