I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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