curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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