Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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