I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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