Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
