we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
