god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize