Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
