that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
