week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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