Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
