3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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