I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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