The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
