Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We left an ass print on the piano.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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