Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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