buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
