2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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