I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
