I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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