I heard we made out
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
