if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
