Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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