So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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