Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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