Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
