i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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