I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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