Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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