she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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