Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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