if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
