im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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