It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
handjob tips. give me some.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
