for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
