Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
