I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i will never coherently bang her
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
