just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
