I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
