We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
