I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
