Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
