I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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