im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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