I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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