but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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