genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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