great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
