Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
