P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
