That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
