Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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